Ah. Well. Uh. Warm? Luke-warm? Don't put hot water on something that's burning! But cold might be too much!
[Pity the poor fool who is going to have sex with this guy...!]
Soap? Uh. Some soaps can burn your asshole, you know. So you gotta be careful about that too. Maybe just stick to some water. You can't fuck up warm water.
But just remember how ol' Gin-san saved your ass from burning and really wonder if maybe he deserves a little more. Have you ever had an ass burn? Clearly you haven't-
This again? Every time I get ready to stop, you tell me to stop. Which means I can't just stop or it'll make it look like I was listening to you, idiot! So shut up!
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VIDEO
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Just in case, tell me what to do if something like that does go wrong. [Now he's all paranoid. Redirection successful, perm bastard.]
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Uh.
Well you gotta like. put water on it. Wait it out. But clean that shit off/out. That's about all you can do-
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Hot or cold. Soap? [He's imagining this too vividly - his heart rate is increasing!]
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[Pity the poor fool who is going to have sex with this guy...!]
Soap? Uh. Some soaps can burn your asshole, you know. So you gotta be careful about that too. Maybe just stick to some water. You can't fuck up warm water.
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But he'll keep those disaster fantasies to himself.]
I know, I know. That's why I asked. Water is fine. It'll be fine. [Right?]
If that's all, then we're done.
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Done?
Uh, we haven't talked about my consultation fee yet. You ain't getting out of this that easy.
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Which means a contingency plan for everything!]
Later.
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Chocolate sundae. Three of them.
[You may have gotten out of giving him a return blow job or handy (for now), but you aren't getting out of this, buddy!]
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Only if this goes well.
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Oi! That wasn't part of the deal. If it goes well, I want a bonus, Mr. Policeman.
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We never had a 'deal'! Be thankful I'm even willing to give you the three sundaes!
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It was an unspoken deal! I gave you a warning about burnt assholes and skid dicks, even!
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Nothing in writing, doesn't count. It's basic practice.
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But just remember how ol' Gin-san saved your ass from burning and really wonder if maybe he deserves a little more. Have you ever had an ass burn? Clearly you haven't-
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[But he's thinking of you with pity now, since you're acting like you've suffered it first hand.]
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Someday, I will have saved your ass.
[The status of the wrongs his ass has suffered will forever remain a mystery, thank you.]
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Babbling like an idiot isn't going to get you anything more out of this.
Just stop.
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But fine.]
Huh? That's stupid. You're ridiculous!
Goodbye. [There, he'll save them both!]
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Your need for the last word is what's stupid and ridiculous.
So ha!
Bye.
[Victory.]
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He says, typing a message-]
That's you, not me.
Bye.
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Says the guy who came back just to get the last word.
Bye.
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You just did that! You did it too!
Bye.
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